Bonds Know No Distance

[mirroredcommand]

The night was dark and deep and long in space, never ending, without a dawn to break the line between waking and sleep, day and night, beginning and end. It made existence endless, broken only by the silent running of the clocks on the wall, the movements of work, food, and sleep. Without these things, without the sureness of a schedule, time became meaningless. Even the stars could not keep him company.

So after Kirk came and 'visited', time resumed its endless patterns, moving on and on without pause or break or concept. For a man used to near-constant action, it was a form of torture more exquisite then any bit of pain or distress. More then anything, it was a torture that gave him nothing to focus his mind on anything but the swelling pain of the broken bond. It was swiftly becoming over whelming, completely and utterly. There was nothing left to keep the pain away, and with his shields designed only to block out Spock's light intrusions instead of a full on force, they were failing after being buffeted for so long. In short, he was going mad.

His expression showed little of the internal war except for the strong brow being furrowed and the age-lines at the edges of the eyes and corners of the mouth looking thicker. It was his hands that gave him away, gripping fiercely into the fabric of the bed he was reclining on. A headache was throbbing behind his eyes in time with his heart, a thick red-hot band of light that was searing like a knife into his mind. Deeper, deeper with every beat of his heart.

Every part of him was focused on maintaining the failing shields, rebuilding them as Spock had taught him those years ago. He had survived torture from Vulcans who knew precisely what to do in the mind, but could not stop this. This bond that had been forced onto him but in the end welcomed, this bond that had saved his life many times in the past, that had saved the life of his first officer and friend, this bond that had been a respite from a world where one could never relax... this bond was killing him. It would destroy him as surely as any blade to the heart.

SPOCK!

Never screamed aloud, never aloud. Instead, strong white teeth bit firmly into his lip, hard enough to send a trickle of crimson along his chin, down to his jawline. The pain, the strain, had been steadily increasing since James Kirk's visit to his cell, as if the reminder of the bond and speaking of it had started a chain reaction. He had long since started to keep his eyes closed [was it hours? minutes? weeks? centuries?] because at least this way the room would not spin. He was starting to feel that same spinning in his mind, making his world wobble like a child's toy.

It seemed hours passed this way. A day? Perhaps. He vaguely heard someone calling him, but did not dare respond. Still trapped in the arms of the enemy, he could not let a weakness be seen. The smell of food made his stomach swell and gurgle, but not from hunger. It felt like his entire body needed one thing it could not have. [a universe away]

He did not feel when he stood, instead he felt the world sway, go sideways. Could not feel the floor beneath his feet, the slap of his hand against the wall in an instinctual attempt to keep himself upright. Did not feel when the world tuned him out, blew him out like a light bulb, did not feel when the pain consumed him and his shields finally fell, did not feel when he hit the ground.

The darkness had claimed him instead.

Comments

[kirk-george.livejournal.com]

George watched the interplay with confused interest. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on but, damn, poor young Spock looked like he'd been through the wringer. He'd been mostly trying to play least in sight but still keep an eye on what was going on.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones had shifted to the side during the meld. He'd seen the older Spock leave, and while he was concerned about him, he accepted his admonishment to watch out for the others.

One eye on Pike and his Spock, so similar to the one he knew but clearly an unknown variable, his gaze fell on Kirk and Nyota, both tending to his own Spock. It both worried and amazed him to think that they were helping him, healing him in a way that he wasn't able to. The two of them were what Spock needed to restore himself. Them, and not him.

And that thought bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Nyota was giving him an honest smile, one that wasn't pandering to him, wasn't hiding biting sarcasm behind her beautiful features. This one was real, meant for him at least in part, and somehow... even more meaningful then the hand that was resting on his cheek.

Spock was in his very mind, a real weight against him still, fingers touching him. Spock had not only trusted him enough to not jerk away from his grip immediately, but had thanked him. Had... needed him. Still needed him? No. That wasn't how things worked. People didn't need him. People wanted him, people desired him, people wanted him to lead... but not need.

So he immediately, instinctually, hid the initial wave of panic that came without conscious thought. The problem was? He didn't know how to hide everything he was feeling from someone who could slide hot fingers under his skin and touch his emotions. panicPanic!worry they're together what am I doing shit not now not now!

A ressuring grin to Nyota, his eyes warmer then he felt, and he slipped out from under Spock's knowing fingers and nudged him to lean against Nyota. "Think you can take it from here, beautiful?" Out from under her hand, too. "Want to get the bridge ready for whatever's going to come."

He didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he slipped away from their - a quick glance at Pher and his Spock - and walked out of sickbay entirely. He didn't know how to deal with this, yet, so he did what he normally did and backed away completely from it. Either he got right in someone's face or he gave the whole issue a huge distance. So, right now, he was chosing option B. He missed his father shifting, then moving out after him.

George had made sure to catch Bones' eye to let him know he would chase after Jim this time before following his son.

Kirk just stalked down the corridors of the Enterprise, heading in the general direction of the bridge. He almost missed the footsteps coming up behind him. Almost. He turned and nearly struck out at the person who was following him, but drew his instinct back when he saw who it was. George was just out of striking range, anyway. His father tilted his head at him, then asked, "Why'd you run?"

"George," Not Dad, not in this situation, "Heading up to the bridge." He turned, ready to keep going.

George rested a hand on Jim's shoulder. "I'm coming with you."

"You're needed m--" He stopped entirely in his tracks as he saw light gathering around his father's outstretched arm and felt the sickeningly familiar feeling of a transporter dissolving him away. "NO!"

His body went still as the world dissolved around him. There was only a single second of something, vague shapes drenched in shadows and light, before pain flared through his entire being. His body hit the floor a second later.

Kirk and George were gone. (http://mirror-brightly.livejournal.com/1680.html#cutid1)

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Something was wrong. Perhaps he had an added advantage of being able to feel it through Jim's mind. Spock could recognize the surge of panic almost as one of his own, the doubt creeping through like water through a wide sieve, completely unhidden. Yet he didn’t know how to soothe it in the immediate sense, confused by it, and in such confusion allowed himself to be shifted from one person to the other without protest. He opened his mouth to argue as he saw Jim’s back disappear out of the room, but was completely lost for words.

Logic didn’t come to his call as fast as it should. Jim’s footsteps disappeared in one, two, three beats to his hearing before Spock reasoned that he had every right to go back to the bridge, too—and after Jim. He kept his hand tight on Nyota’s, looked back at her after he had disappeared. Please, he simply asked, and with her agreement, walked out after Jim into the hallway with her.

Except Jim wasn’t in the hallway.

Spock narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t have walked that fast. So he stepped up to the nearest console, Nyota’s hand still at his side, and asked, “Computer, locate Captain Kirk.”

Captain Kirk is not located aboard this vessel.

He asked again, and received the same answer.

Panic, cold and frenzied, flooded out from his mind but he couldn’t break the grip between their hands if he wanted to. Outside, he remained calm, as he always did, but his mind was an endless stream of jimjimwhereisthecaptainwhathappenedjimwhereareyouwhyareyounotherejimcaptain…

About ten seconds later, he had ordered engineering and the bridge to raise all the shields to maximum, and strode back into sickbay with the unwelcomed feeling of captaincy heavy in his mind.

"The captain is gone."

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

The loss of contact shocked Nyota into silence for a moment, and she couldn't find the words to protest as James shifted Spock closer to her and slipped away. To her surprise (though she wasn't sure who it was coming from, or maybe both of them) it was unpleasant, like someone had doused her with cold water. She opened her mouth to call him back, to assure the worries that he hid behind his bravado and bright smiles were unjustified.

Her fingers curled around Spock's in assurance that she would follow him - them - wherever they led, and allowed him to drag her into the hallway. As she passed Bones, she shot him a look, though her attention was soon drawn to the empty stretch in front of her. Where the hell had he gone? A familiar surge of frustration rose up inside, though it was edged with an intimate affection. Where the hell had he gone?

Her frustration, though now directed illogically at the computer, continued as she heard those words. No, that couldn't be right, it just couldn't. She wouldn't accept it. But when it was asked again and gave the same response, she felt everything else give way to blind panic that she couldn't reel in even if she wanted to.

The only comment she could make to his statement was a quiet, whispered "what?" How could he just be gone? She didn't understand, though the bitter trickle inside her mind was telling her it was entirely possible and something bad had happened. Giving his fingers another squeeze, she tried to control her whirling emotions, trying to think of something they could do. But she wasn't the Captain, and since James wasn't there that duty fell to--

"Spock."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones had shut his eyes as Kirk left sickbay, looking as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. He recognized that look of Jim's - the one of disbelief mixed with an inability to handle strong emotional situations and only having Pike and his Spock attached to his sickbay kept him from following George out the door.

Then Spock took off, followed by Nyota and he was about to just say 'fuck it' to the other two men and go see what the hell was happening when Spock came striding back into Sickbay...

Then he spoke, and it all got even worse.

"What the hell do you mean 'gone'?"

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"What I mean, Doctor," Spock looked over to look at him directly, an unwavering gaze held there by the same control that was keeping his expression blank of what he was really feeling. "Is that he is not physically present on this vessel."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Spock's expression was stoic but there was something going on in his eyes that made Bones cold - this was fucking bad... It was like a pit opened up in his stomach and Bones just stood there, unable to move. He heard Spock's words but they sounded slow in his head, as if played at half-speed.

His own words were sounded foreign in his head. "Where is he?"

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"If I knew the coordinates of his location, I would have already retrieved him." Spock had his own ways of saying he had no clue what was happening or how to remedy it. He looked over the pain at the biobed, still trapped in their own minds and the intimacy of the meld. His first, immutable instinct was to interrupt it and ask them where his captain had gone, theytookhim--but there was no evidence to either support or refute this conclusion.

He needed to do something productive, needed to get all the variables in hand before he did something rash--like ripping open the break between dimensions and wreaking havoc on the mirrored Enterprise on the other side. "I am returning to the bridge." He told the room, and turned to go, intending to bring Nyota with him. "Inform me when they break the meld." Spock gestured to his mirror and Pike on the biobed. "And maintain a security detail at all times."

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

"We'll find him," was her immediate response to Bones, wanting to reassure him that James would be alright. But it occurred to her that she couldn't promise that, and her eyes darted to the Pike and Spock still locked in their meld as if they were responsible. Taing a deep breath, she tried her very best to calm her emotions, to think before laying blame. The last thing they needed was an inter-dimensional war between ships based on wild accusations. It was extremely, extremely difficult to try and force logic into the forefront of her mind, but she could feel the rush of worry and panic from Spock, and was determined to do what she could to try and steady him.

She reached out for Bones's arm as she passed him, fingers gripping it gently as if that was any consolation for the situation. "Be safe Leo." she pleaded, eyes once again finding Pike and Spock. Hopefully they would be sufficiently distracted. To Spock she turned, her hand still tight in his, her jaw setting in that familiar grim determination. "How the hell did he get off this ship? Someone must have beamed him off." She didn't want to say it was the mirror of their ship but the evidence was looking extremely likely.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones looked back over at Nyota as she touched his arm, leaving behind Spock. She said something but he didn't hear her. Everything was quiet in his head.

The sickbay door swished closed and Bones stood there, staring at it for a minute before turning back to the pair. He wasn't afraid - there were two security guards with him, and he had his phaser on him... he wasn't afraid for him.

Kirk was gone. Taken from the ship. Was this what was happening to the other ships, when the others appeared on their Enterprise. Was Jim on some alternate universe right now, on some other ship with someone that looked like him?

Pike and his Spock... Bones watched them, because there wasn't anything else he could do. This was a helplessness to a degree he hadn't known before. It was all on Spock now, their Spock, and whomever else he got to assist him in getting Jim back. Had to trust the fucking Vulcan to get back the man he- Fuck...

Fucking useless. That ought to be his middle name.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

A few more moments passed and Bones felt like he was going to break something if he didn't calm down a little. Being in here, alone, no one to share this anger with, no one... It was a making a terrible moment even worse.

George. George, who had chased Jim out of here. George, Bones needed George to talk him through this, to help him find out what Spock was doing on the bridge while he was stuck here in Sickbay.

Bones turned to the computer panel, tapping violently against the screen, looking for where George was. His heart stopped when he saw those words: not on board the Enterprise. No, not George too...

Breathing loudly, he tapped at his communicator. "Sickbay to bridge, I need to talk to Spock, now." The urgency was evident in his voice.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He had just taken a seat in his chair at his console--not the captain's chair. There was no logic in sitting there now, he had calculations and data to analyze in his desperate search for Jim--but also because he knew that the seat was not his rightful place. Acting captain or not, it was still Jim's one seat on the bridge, his throne of power. And Spock didn't want to intrude on it just yet in his absence.

Also, he had not told the rest of the ship that the captain had mysteriously disappeared. To take that seat would hint at...the situation. And for now he had no answers if someone asked.

Then the communication. Couldn't McCoy wait at least an hour before panicking, give him some time to find Jim before he started yelling...?

He took the communication at his station. "Yes, McCoy?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"George Kirk," Bones said, trying to catch his breath - when had he lost it? "I tried hailing him but computer says he's no longer on board, either."

"Spock, he was following Jim," he added. "You think both of them-" He stopped, knowing Spock would know what he meant.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He had entirely been focused on Jim's lack of existence in the immediate vicinity. He had seen George walk out of the sickbay second, but it had not actually occurred to him, in his panic...

Emotions. He resisted cursing himself (as that was, yet again, another emotion). Distracting him. Preventing him from analyzing the entire situation.

"Yes," Spock agreed with him, finally. "That is quite possible."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

There was a pause. "Okay. I'll let you know when the bond ends," he said quietly, his voice sort of dead, ending the communication.

He turned back to the pair melding, filled with an empty dread. Kirk was gone. His attention to the two men was half-hearted at best.