Bonds Know No Distance

[mirroredcommand]

The night was dark and deep and long in space, never ending, without a dawn to break the line between waking and sleep, day and night, beginning and end. It made existence endless, broken only by the silent running of the clocks on the wall, the movements of work, food, and sleep. Without these things, without the sureness of a schedule, time became meaningless. Even the stars could not keep him company.

So after Kirk came and 'visited', time resumed its endless patterns, moving on and on without pause or break or concept. For a man used to near-constant action, it was a form of torture more exquisite then any bit of pain or distress. More then anything, it was a torture that gave him nothing to focus his mind on anything but the swelling pain of the broken bond. It was swiftly becoming over whelming, completely and utterly. There was nothing left to keep the pain away, and with his shields designed only to block out Spock's light intrusions instead of a full on force, they were failing after being buffeted for so long. In short, he was going mad.

His expression showed little of the internal war except for the strong brow being furrowed and the age-lines at the edges of the eyes and corners of the mouth looking thicker. It was his hands that gave him away, gripping fiercely into the fabric of the bed he was reclining on. A headache was throbbing behind his eyes in time with his heart, a thick red-hot band of light that was searing like a knife into his mind. Deeper, deeper with every beat of his heart.

Every part of him was focused on maintaining the failing shields, rebuilding them as Spock had taught him those years ago. He had survived torture from Vulcans who knew precisely what to do in the mind, but could not stop this. This bond that had been forced onto him but in the end welcomed, this bond that had saved his life many times in the past, that had saved the life of his first officer and friend, this bond that had been a respite from a world where one could never relax... this bond was killing him. It would destroy him as surely as any blade to the heart.

SPOCK!

Never screamed aloud, never aloud. Instead, strong white teeth bit firmly into his lip, hard enough to send a trickle of crimson along his chin, down to his jawline. The pain, the strain, had been steadily increasing since James Kirk's visit to his cell, as if the reminder of the bond and speaking of it had started a chain reaction. He had long since started to keep his eyes closed [was it hours? minutes? weeks? centuries?] because at least this way the room would not spin. He was starting to feel that same spinning in his mind, making his world wobble like a child's toy.

It seemed hours passed this way. A day? Perhaps. He vaguely heard someone calling him, but did not dare respond. Still trapped in the arms of the enemy, he could not let a weakness be seen. The smell of food made his stomach swell and gurgle, but not from hunger. It felt like his entire body needed one thing it could not have. [a universe away]

He did not feel when he stood, instead he felt the world sway, go sideways. Could not feel the floor beneath his feet, the slap of his hand against the wall in an instinctual attempt to keep himself upright. Did not feel when the world tuned him out, blew him out like a light bulb, did not feel when the pain consumed him and his shields finally fell, did not feel when he hit the ground.

The darkness had claimed him instead.

Comments

A universe away

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

The ragged end of the bond was closed off as effectively as possible - and in Spock's brain that was very effectively indeed. He supposed he owed his father gratitude for that at least - the severing of his cultural bonds had let him accustomed to the silence and solitude of his own mind.

Were Pike (he needed the distance of last names to consider such a thing) to die, Spock would survive. Whether or not, he admitted to himself, he would want to, well, that was another question entirely.

And this limbo was taking its toll. His logic was not yet impaired but, as he mentally reviewed his actions of the past few weeks, he could read the emerging tendencies as clearly as anyone. He was spiraling closer toward the madness and blood lust that Christopher had controlled in Spock so rigidly, for his own good, when Spock's own control had come so close to failing before.

A lifetime of the strictest control had exacted its own cost as well.

The bonded nanoprobes, tuned to Christopher's hand and to Spock's as secondary command, visible only because there was such a quantity of them, swarmed inside the jar as he held it to the light, admiring. When these were unleashed on the Enterprise, they would become a part of the fabric of her systems, her very structural integrity at the deepest levels.

He was close now - there were two tests running, close to completion. If they concluded as expected, Spock would release the creatures, organisms, really, and let them secure the Enterprise for him, for Christopher.

The severing was violent and unexpected - the only reason he remained conscious was the careful shielding he had been holding in place so tightly. Even so, he gasped, in the privacy of his lab, and watched as the jar slid through nerveless fingers to shatter on the floor.

It was good that he knew how the tests would conclude, Spock allowed himself to think before he sank to his knees, body bending until his pounding forehead was pressed against the cool surface of the floor.

Christopher. Christopher. Christopher.

His blood pounded the name, screamed out for his mate. Something was wrong, deeply wrong and now there was no more time.

Spock tore down the shields he had erected out of self-preservation, tore through his own mind to fan the ember of the bond, almost smothered in what ever was afflicting Christopher. He whispered, he raged.

Christopher, I am coming for you.

No more diplomacy.

Spock took two more deep breathes, stood and straightened his uniform, and strode from his lab toward the transporter bay. The shards of broken jar glittered on the floor behind him as the organics of the nanotechnology gleamed wetly, claiming the Enterprise as his and as Christopher's.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Sitting in a conversation she could contribute so little to was mind-numbingly frustrating. Nyota Uhura was not a physicist, nor did she possess the Vulcan genius that would perhaps shed some light on this whole situation. She was, however, a communications expert, and as soon as she could slip away there was someone that she had to see.

Sliding quietly out of the Bridge, Nyota ducked quickly back to her quarters to retrieve the PADD she'd been steeling herself to deliver. It was disconnected from every network possible, and contained only the select information she had decided to put on it; the public history of the Federation, as well as some additional histories that the Captain Pike in the Brig could do no harm with. He had responded well enough to an exchange of information before and a little empathy, she just hoped that he would do the same now. If anyone had a clue how this other Spock worked, it would be him.

With a curt nod to the security officers flanking the entrance to his cell, Nyota took a step inside just in time to see the man fall to the floor. Out of instinct she moved to rush forward, calling out his name, but caught herself when she realized exactly where she was and who he was. This wasn't the Pike she knew but he was still in trouble and needed help. "Damn it." she hissed through gritted teeth, pushing the food and PADD she had been carrying into the arms of the nearest guard, slamming a hand onto the intercom. "Lieutenant Uhura to Medical." She glanced over her shoulder at the guards, waving between them and the cell. She had seen the way he fell, and it wasn't an act. "Open the damn thing. Medica-- damn it, Leo! I'm in the Brig and Pher just collapsed on me."

As soon as the force field was dropped, Nyota moved over to kneel beside him, carefully avoiding any contact with those damned gloves. Training taught her to check for a pulse - check. So he wasn't dead. "Tell Doctor McCoy we're coming up and whatever you do do NOT touch those gloves." She didn't have to tell the security officers twice, they'd been around enough to know how dangerous he was. However unhappy they seemed to be with touching Pike, they swiftly did as they were told.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Pike's pulse was thin and speeding fast under Uhura's fingertips. His color had gone to ashen white, his breathing the hitched sound of someone in pain.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones had gotten the message and was busy getting everyone that wasn't essential out of the rooms. He knew how dangerous this prisoner was - and no one was going to be put in harm's way if he could help it.

The security crew brought him in and dropped him off at the bed that Bones pointed at. He had the highest security protocols enabled, in addition to the bio restraints. "Lock the door," he told one of the guards that brought him in. And get someone outside that door. No one comes in without my permission, understood?"

Once this was taken care of Bones began looking at the unconscious patient. It wasn't until that minute he looked around to see who had come with them.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Despite herself, Nyota couldn't help but feel a rush of worry for the man. He didn't look healthy, and though she knew that this was not Admiral Pike and he would turn on her if he could, she wouldn't allow him to die if she could help it. This wasn't his world and that wasn't his fault.

As they entered Medical, she stepped aside to allow the officers to place him on the bed before striding to his side and explaining to Bones what she knew - not that it was much. "He just collapsed as soon as I walked in. His pulse is insane, it's there. Barely though."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

The sensors on the bio bed said as much. "His heart rate is elevated," he called out to the nurse standing behind him, "and his neural waves are off the charts." Something was going on in this man's head, something not right.

The gloves were still on him. "No one touches those," he reminded his medical crew. Turning back to Nyota, he gave her a look. "What were you doing down there?" he asked.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Nyota took a step back from the biobed, allowing the people to do their work without any distraction. She knew enough about Vulcan culture to form her own hypothesis about what was happening to him - and none of it was good.

Raising a brow at his look - a look she knew all too well, and it usually meant that she was going to end up with a lecture - she fixed him with a steely gaze of her own, jaw set firm. "I went to tell him about the message from the Bridge." She wasn't entirely sure if he'd been filled in about what had happened, so she added a "from his Spock" for clarity. She hadn't been unsensible about it, keeping the guards with her as Kirk had asked, so he couldn't protest. "And it was a damn good job I was."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

The words 'from his Spock' sent him into enough of a panic that he temporarily forgot the chastising remarks he was going to make about her being close enough to him to feel his pulse. He knew

Speaking of... Bones turned back to his patient, frowning. His vital signs were erratic, and he wondered if this was somehow related to his bonding with his own Spock. Yet again, Bones wondered if he'd ever learn enough about Vulcans to be useful in cases like this.

He leaned in, looking at his face, trying to decide what to do next.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Pike's eyes opened in that exact moment. They looked up without seeing to Bones, then focused on him and his body surged upwards. Trapped. Someone had him trapped. Could not focus, thoughts abandoned, shields down. Had to repair. Had to get free. Would not tell them anything!

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Out of instinct, Nyota jumped back as Pike surged up. She wasn't a doctor, she didn't know the ins and outs of a body like Bones did, but it was obvious that he had to calm down so that he could get some help. Carefully she edged forward, leaning down closer to his head so she could whisper quietly. "We're trying to help you." she soothed in her best calming tone. There was no evidence that it would even work, he didn't exactly trust any of them. But she had to try, though she kept her hands to herself. "You need to let the doctor help you, so we can try and figure out what's going on. We're not trying to hurt you... Captain."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Grey eyes focused on Nyota, focusing on her for several long moments. What was this trick? The pain was immense, making his entire body shake. It cried out over and over, focused entirely on one single thing. That single thing was gone, a universe away, but impossible to feel. There was something missing in his gaze that she had seen before, which was that terrible power and command. This was a human being in pain, trying to get control of the tiger and riding it and failing for the moment.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Nyota concentrated on meeting his gaze and keeping it, trying to see if her words were having any effect on calming him. What could she do to make him understand that they were trying to help, that they weren't doing this? There was something a little different in his eyes - perhaps they were simply more human, vunerable. "Captain," she repeated once more, hoping that the title he cherished would garner some kind of understanding from him. She reached out and laid a hand gently and carefully on his shoulder. "Can you tell us what happened? What you're feeling?"

Glancing up at Bones, she fixed him with a concerned look. "Maybe if you sedate him, try to make the pain a little less?" she suggested, once again looking back to Pike. "We need to try and make him explain."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones almost stopped Nyota when she reached out and touched Pike, but the other man did seem to respond positively to her - well, at least he calmed down a bit, stopped pulling at his bio restraints. Giving her a look, he decided to follow her lead.

"Captain, I can give you something that will relieve your pain, take the edge off," Bones looked down at the frustrated patient, as professionally as he could muster, "but if you'd rather be unconscious I can do that as well. I won't put you under without your permission, as long as you don't fight us."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

It was evident that he could not focus more then the immediate without some sort of pain killer. He gave a jerky nod to the first, and a shake of the head to the second. He could not tell them, they would not understand. There was someone else needed here, someone else that he had to speak to who could speak to his own.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones caught the message, and prepared a dosage of pain medication, a little higher concentration that typical, but the patient appeared to be in extremely intense pain. "I'm going to apply it to your neck," he told him, leaning over and pressing the spray into his neck. "This should kick in momentarily," he said, watching Pike's eyes carefully for any sort of reaction.

Glancing over at Nyota, he gave her a grim look. "Has anyone told the captain he's in here?"

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

As Bones moved forward, Nyota withdrew her hand and straightened back up. "No." she replied with a shake of her head. "I just brought him straight here." Her first thought had not been to inform Kirk, but to get him to someone who could help. Looking down at him, she wondered if the Doctor was entirely the right person.

As she spoke to Bones, she focused back to the man on the bed, trying to see if he was able to speak. "I'm guessing this has something to do with his bond. It's not physical, it's mental." As Vulcans were intensely private about their practices, she only knew what she had read and what she had been told. In no way was this enough to help. For that she needed a Vulcan. They needed a Spock. "It's been known, when people are torn away from their bondmate, for that loss to manifest itself physically but... I don't know anything else. We're going to have to get Spock down here." Which one, she had no clue and she didn't want to summon either of them. But it was logical.

"Who can help you?" she asked Pike directly now.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

The answer was simple, and she had already said it. This woman knew about the bond, more then most humans. So he nodded to her and grit his teeth, "Spock." Already he could feel the pain killer kicking in, relaxing muscles along the pain, but unable to ease the pain that was coming from his mind.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones figured as much - he'd experienced first-hand some of the mind-bond, even though it had been the edges, what Spock had shared with him, and that had been pretty fucking strong. This one was bonded with another Spock, he knew as much from Kirk... fuck.

"You go tell Jim and Spock - fuck, both if you can, but either one down here, right now," he told her. "And then get back here," he added, as close to admitting to her that she was a calming presence in this tense situation.

He moved back to check on the scans, pleased that the elevation in his heart rate had lowered a bit, but Pike still suffering, and Bones was pretty sure that nothing he had would alleviate this sort of pain - for this he needed a Vulcan.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Pressing her lips together, Nyota briefly closed her eyes. She had been expecting that. "Alright." she nodded, giving Pike one last look and then turning to McCoy, issuing a silent look warning him to be careful. With the lightest brush of her fingers to his shoulder, she turned and rushed out of the room to find Spock and Kirk.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Spock would have to come. He would be feeling this pain. It did not occur to him that he was unable to mentally tell either Spock apart in this state. His eyes turned to Bones, staring at him, knowing the face, assuming the name, and wondering if this Bones would be the opposite of the one he knew.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

McCoy looked back into those grey eyes, knowing that this one had hurt his crew mate - but he was still his patient, and he needed to get him back on his feet (and back in the brig) as soon as possible.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Bones asked, one finger touching his face lightly, pulling gently on the skin of each eye, looking inside. "Did something happen to the bond?" he asked quietly, letting the other man know he wasn't totally unversed in what might be happening to him. "Or is this something else that has only to do with you?"

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Bond." Pike's pupils were huge, even in the brilliant white light of sickbay, and he was trembling despite the pain killers. "Couldn't keep the shields any longer."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"We're getting someone here who might help with that," he told him quietly. There was very little he could do here, other than sedate him and he knew Pike didn't want that.

Fuck, nothing worse than feeling helpless. "Is there anything I can do to help you until he gets here?" he asked. Maybe Pike had some ideas he hadn't thought of.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

A tiny shake of his head, and Pike closed his eyes. Spock. His heart started to race, the silent symptoms he had been keeping suppressed.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

His vitals began spiking again, and Bones moved to the other side of the bed to check on him, and was not pleased with what he saw. "C'mon, captain, just hold on a few more minutes," he muttered.

He looked up at the doors and waited, wondering when the fuck someone was going to get here.