A Surprising Visit

[mirroredcommand]

Time passed without any true indication of its movement except for the occasional checks to the padd that was his single form of outlet. It was difficult to suppress the desire to lash out against anything, including his captors, but suppressed it was. He was no heathen as they seemed to believe of him, like he knew some of his crew to be. His mind trickled to thoughts of the young brat determined to remove him from command and had been successful until his first officer had dealt with the situation. Loyal as always, Spock.

His mind consistently returned to the conversation with Spock, both Spocks together in the same mind-field, and if he had proved his point. Truly, he would not have normally cared in the least how his Spock came to this verse and freed him, be it by secrecy, force, command, or blood, but in this case he had specifically chosen to tell his Spock to come in a way that would not harm this crew. Chosen because it would add to his words and actions in order that his second-hand persuasion to the surprisingly young Captain of this Enterprise would be that much stronger. The Spock currently residing in this universe, one way or another, would be forced to support him, but done in such a fashion that Spock would believe his own words instead of being forced to speak them.

It would work well, Pike decided. All he had to do was wait.

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[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Obviously the thank you came as a surprise to Pike as his brow rose very slightly, the emotion coming over his face only for the flutter of a heart before fading. Then, the connection came like a bolt of lightning, the word at the tip of his tongue, the notion from before.

Where this man had seemed familiar before? In his sleep, when he had connected briefly with Spock, he had felt this same feeling.

So, for the bit of given information, it was returned, "You are one of Spock's bond mates." There was almost what could be called a light in his eyes, but what the light shone for was impossible to say.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Just as Jim had felt Pike in the bond, Pike had felt him somehow. It made sense, as much as any of this did. He nodded once. It crossed his mind that this man could use that information. But it had also occurred to him that it was information he could obtain through other means, and for him a connection was always more important than deception, if it could be maintained.

"You are one of very few who can say he knows what that means. Even if it means something slightly different to each of us."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"That's very true." Pike could agree with that statement, at least. "Spock seemed somewhat surprised at the connection my own Spock and I share." As if the idea of it was foreign, but then even how they treated each other, handled each other was even more so.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

If he was honest with himself--and Kirk usually was--the thought gave him some pause, too. Part of that, he realized, was jealousy. The knowledge that he and Spock did not share what they had in this other universe bothered him, had bothered him for some time. That he himself had been able to reach that Spock, he was certain. But what of his counterpart, a man who hadn't the ability either Pike or Spock did to even stand and converse? Some romantic part of him wanted him-and-Spock-and-Bones to be something in any universe. Another part of him just wanted to believe he himself would have risen above the brutal culture of that world.

But he could see the other side, perhaps more clearly than Spock. Spock needed someone. Especially having seen what he had, that Spock needed an anchor even more than his own did. He did not like what he'd seen, but he'd recognized its cold comfort in a world like that. The necessity of something.

"His connection with his own Pike was deep, but not of that nature," he explained. "And despite the staggering similarities between our worlds, our circumstances are very different. It's not easy, being confronted with the possibilities lying within oneself."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Or the lack of them." Pike agreed. It was interesting, and certainly refreshing, how different this particular Kirk was then the one he knew. "In my own universe, James T. Kirk is a young, brash, fool. He has charm, in a sense, and inspires men, but he has no foresight. He could be captain, but he wouldn't hold it long. In fact, he didn't." He knew his tone was momentarily pleased, "As he's now currently in the brig.

It seems each universe plays us a different hand, offers us different cards, but we are all playing with the same deck."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Kirk's smile returned, something wry only partially directed at Pike. "I've been all of those things," he said. "It seems the game likes me better, in my universe." He'd beaten others, too, or at least gotten along in them. And there again, in the alternate universe he'd visited, Kirk had won. For a time.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"So it might seem." Pike said dryly.

He remained silent for a moment before offering, "It doesn't seem like a man of your nature would come down here just to meet me." He wanted to know the real reason that would bring Kirk down here, what was driving the man.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"No?" Jim asked lightly. In truth, he had no other reason. None that he was conscious of. "You've melded with my bondmate. You are another displaced entity. Do you cease to be Captain Pike when you leave your ship?" He was bored, and the differences between the worlds, between Spocks, between Jim Kirks fascinated him. The ways alternatives wove themselves around the constant elements, even when those alternatives disturbed him with what they demonstrated about those constants.

This man, essentially, held his place. His ship, his Spock. Those were not constants. Or at least, if they were, they had yet to manifest. What did that make him? Lucky? What was he here, now, without his ship, his stripes?

"I want to know what you want," he said suddenly. "What drives you."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"What drives me." Pike said, then laughed, very quietly. Perhaps not so different then the Kirk of his own universe. "That isn't the kind of discussion I want to have while I'm trapped behind a barrier." He touched it with his hand, but the gloves protected him from the shock.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim knew all about the gloves.

"I didn't expect you to tell me," he said. "You asked what brought me here. I was curious. And you know I can't lower it."

He'd told Jim they had no right to take this, or any other, man's life. He still believed that. But he would not risk the consequences of showing too much mercy. Without having some reassurance that it was warranted. Even if it suddenly did become his place to say, they were at an impasse.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"You, from what little I've learned, have equally preconceived notions about myself because of the universe I came from." Pike met Jim's eyes easily, holding them, "Tell me something. Do you base your concepts entirely on a short time in my universe, which is obviously a harsher place then this one, and apply it equally to every person? It seems this place," He gestured around them, "Is one of diplomacy instead of control, but I doubt it is all as clean as it brings itself to be."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim shrugged slightly.

"I do have a bias," he admitted. "Based, yes, on my short time in your universe." As well as Spock's memories of the melds, memories he was not going to divulge. "That time was long enough to tell me, for instance, how many officers rise through the ranks. To tell me what is valued in a leader. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to consider what I learned grounds for caution. I do think it's unreasonable to apply it broadly, and without exception, to everyone." He smiled again. "Which is why I'm here. I prefer to deal in courtesy and diplomacy, but not at the cost of lives. Yours, mine, or my peoples'."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"You're the sum of your universe, and I'm mine, but that doesn't mean we're like all other men. Three times now I have been inside or held the mind of a Spock born of this universe or another that you know. I've done no damage, and ordered my own to keep his peace when he arrives despite what I believe he normally would do to achieve my freedom. Your bias is your bias, and you may believe what you will." Pike said in a calm tone, shrugging a shoulder lightly.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I know that," Kirk said with equal calm. "If you had harmed any one of them, we would not be speaking now. And I have great respect for your Spock as well. But what would you do, if it were I who appeared on your ship?" Jim left out the part where this wasn't his call. And the part where he can counseled Jim against execution. He glanced at the gloves. "If I could injure, kill, with a touch? What would your world have done to me?"

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"A question asked when one knows the answer is a foolish question. You know what the answer is already, Kirk. That is not here. I am in this cell because of the prejudice that comes from those of you who have dealt with my universe but not me specifically, along with a natural reaction that I have already been forgiven for." Pike shifted his weight slightly, watching Jim closely.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Spock has dealt with you specifically," Jim pointed out, his expression hardening. "You are not here out of prejudice. You are here because this world and yours have entirely differing opinions about what constitutes a 'natural' reaction. You have offered pain without provocation to members of this crew. You have refused to relinquish your weapon. These are not actions designed to alleviate our very natural caution under the circumstances."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Pain without provocation?" One dark brow rose at that, "When have I done so? I found myself in an alien universe, alone, and immediately under capture. I fought to escape, but once I realized that I've no reason to be worried about my own life other then a potential punishment for something I didn't do, I've harmed no one and circumvented harm that would've happened otherwise. I defended myself as my mind has so been trained to do so when I was forced into a mind-meld against my will, but if you consider defense 'pain without provocation' so be it."

Pike held up a gloved hand, "As for these, you can view security cameras and see that any time it was asked of me I removed them in another's presence, but I've also warned several times that if anyone were to come in contact with these other then myself due to their nature I can't be held responsible for their foolishness."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I will concede that the younger Spock's actions were unwarranted," he said, his voice grim and his eyes hard. Though founded on a bedrock of compassion, Kirk was no less a leader than this man. No less immovable in his convictions. "But your 'defense,' as you call it, was inexcusable. Under any circumstances. If you can't understand that, if this is all the defense you offer, you merely prove my point. You have made no attempt to gain our trust, shown no sign that we would be justified in freeing you. You have demonstrated no compunction about manipulating minds. That is specific knowledge, not bias. You don't know me, so I'll assume you don't know what my actions would have been either in your place or if you'd shown yourself worthy of our trust. But I am not making assumptions about you."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"You tell me I've done nothing to give you reason to trust me." Pike said calmly, walking slowly back to the bed and sitting down. His eyes went back to Kirk, "Perhaps in your eyes, what I've done, is nothing to earn your trust, but that's because you view it with your bias and beliefs. What I've done no man would dare offer in my universe. To rid one's self of their weapon? To command peace instead of war? Are you so blind?"

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Should I apply special criteria to you, then? Abandoning my own, or Starfleet's, or the standards of the community in which you find yourself? That you've behaved with more civility than your world might have led me to expect means nothing. But your ideology, your morality, are in conflict with ours. Should, then, you be allowed to exercise your brand because it is yours, when in my eyes it does harm? Should you be free to rape minds, for instance, because it is less than would be offered us in your universe? By what standard would you have me judge you?"

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Think as if you were myself for a moment, Kirk." Pike tilted his head very slightly, almost a tone of a parent speaking to child. "You're on a strange planet, when you're captured. Wouldn't you fight in any way possible to free yourself? If you were attacked, wouldn't you defend yourself in any way possible? The means of our defenses may differ due to our natures and universes, but the principle applies.

Rape minds. Why would you say that?"

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Of course Kirk would fight, had done. But it went both ways; they had a right to fight, now, to preserve the freedom and compassion they worked so hard for.

"It applies on both sides," Jim said quietly. "We must defend out own. And whatever you call it, your demonstrated influence over the minds of others constitutes a violation, in this universe."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"I have no doubt you must defend your own." His tone kept calm, almost soft. "You tell me that my influence over the minds of others is a violation, and yet, you are being hypocritical. Without any provocation, the younger Spock stepped forward and forced a mind-meld on me. Is that not a demonstrated influence over the minds of others? Or is it not simply because I knew how to defend myself?"

He gestured lightly, "I did nothing that was unwanted, except of course the initial defense that attacked Spock in return. That is instinct now, much like ducking a punch or blocking a kick while fighting." He met Jim's eyes, "In my universe, we were at war with the Vulcans. I could tell you our history, but to simplify things, my mind was built to not only huddle like a turtle behind shields if attacked, but to retaliate against my attacker."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Kirk was as close to the field now as he could safely come, the energy of it licking unpleasantly at the skin of his face as he stared coldly at Pike. He welcomed the harsh buzz of it, matching his rising emotions.

"I have already said I found Spock's actions unwarranted," he said. "If I could apologize for them, I would. But I find the nature of your 'defense' abhorrent. Spock would never have submitted to such a thing in his right mind. You took advantage, far beyond what any reasonable man might consider appropriate to defend yourself. You sank to humiliation and coercion. If you had done this to my Spock--if you had succeeded--you would be dead now. I would have been wrong to kill you, but I can't deny it.

"As it is, I came down here to see if you were a reasonable man. If you could demonstrate some understanding of how we live here, of what's acceptable behavior. I've offered amnesty to beings with worse crimes on their heads than you, provided both of us understand the context and the consequences. I see no such understanding or remorse from you. I had hoped to find otherwise."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Remorse." Pike commented lightly, "The only remorse I have for what happened with the younger Spock is that it had to happen under such circumstances. I have little doubt that if spoken to and he spoke honestly, he wouldn't be able to deny that he enjoyed it, and would want it again. Vulcans are excellent liars, though."

"Tell me this. If I didn't understand your universe, at least in some sense, why would I've told my own Spock, commanded him, to come without harming any? If I hadn't told him, in his anger and pain, he would have had little issue in killing members of this crew, entering their minds, to get information where I am, about this ship, anything."

"Despite having my gloves, which is obviously something that all of you intelligently fear, every time that I've been asked, I've removed them. They are dangerous to others, and as you have shown no trust to me, I can't trust you to not destroy them or tear them apart to learn years of research. Spock has not only entered my mind, but allowed me to do the same in return. He trusts me in some small sense, at least."

He gave a long look to Jim before nodding slightly, "I would rather be in my universe, with my Spock, instead of here. I am willing to do what is necessary to be able to exist here, to learn, until he comes for me. Of that, I have no doubt. If it takes him the rest of my life, he will not stop searching."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"It did not have to happen at all," Kirk said harshly. "Whether or not Spock enjoyed it--and that is his business--he was not granted the decision. You took that away from him. I understand your temptation. I can even, to some extent, understand his. I understand the trust my Spock puts in you, even if it frightens me. But I cannot see that what you did was necessary. Nor does it allow for the possibility that Spock could ask for it again without suspecting it was your own influence suggesting it. You've bypassed anything I could consider consensual."

Jim didn't know what he'd hoped to gain from this. Some sense that he'd been correct in counseling Jim against execution. Some hope that Spock's evident fascination was warranted. Some course of action he himself could take to regain control over some aspect of his own life.

"I want you gone. Not simply for the safety of this ship, but because I sympathize with your plight. And I appreciate your command to your Spock. I only wish I could trust that your understanding of our world--and respect for our way of life--was sufficient to warrant your freedom."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"It didn't have to happen, but it did. How was he not granted decision? He could have called the guards, could have simply walked away. But somehow, I doubt no matter what I say, you will believe me or trust me at all. That's why I'm not sure why you came down here, Kirk."

His head tilted, "Honestly, I believe you don't want to believe. That maybe, just maybe, I am right. You will deny that, of course, even in your mind, but I am sure it's true. I am who I am. In light of this universe I am in, I have gone against my own instincts and knowledge to attempt to put you and the rest of this crew at ease. My methods and ways are not yours, but I am not a savage beast that can't learn. Learning, of course, being nearly impossible in a cell cut off from most of said civilization."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"How do I know you did not keep him from crying out? I'm certain you have ways of making him believe it was he who decided not to. How do I know?"

Perhaps he did not want to believe. Perhaps Pike was right. His own counterpart, whom he had not met, was described thus. A beast. Savage. Untrainable. Perhaps he didn't want to believe that there was that within him that was not capable of redemption.

Jim habitually believed in the redemption of everyone.

"You're wrong," he said at last. "I came to see what I could learn from you. To see what might be done. My instincts tell me you're not to be trusted. Not my bias. I've learned to know the difference. But I'm willing to listen. I've yet to hear anything that assures me no harm would come, should you be set free. You must acknowledge that you're a dangerous man and that it would be foolish to assume otherwise."

In the end, it was not his decision, unless he went over Jim's head, which he had no reason to do. But he wanted to know, for himself.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"I could swear on my honor, but I don't know if you believe in it. I have tried with my actions, but you don't believe them. I have spoken honestly with you, and you don't believe in my words. Somehow, I believe there is nothing I could do to have you believe that I wouldn't." Pike shrugged softly.

"Do as you wish, believe what you will."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I believe that you may well believe you've acted honorably," Kirk said. "But I also believe that you've shown your concept of honor to be different from mine. There lies the rub. I wish it were otherwise. You're a formidable man, as either ally or enemy. And I dislike waste."

He turned away slightly. There was so much he wanted to know, so much about the bond, about the abilities Pike had shown, so much he himself didn't understand about the position he found himself in. But he couldn't ask. Could not know weakness--or at least, not that sort. He was aware that this entire universe, and his, must have appeared weak, but that was a weakness he could live with.

"I'll see what I can do," he said at last. "I believe myself to be correct in my assessment of the danger you pose, and your lack of complicity with the values of this culture. But I will do what I can." He turned back to the cell. "You may believe that or not, as you wish. I know you suffer without him, and he without you. I know you wish to live. I would prefer to come to some understanding than leave you here." He shrugged. "But that depends on much more than my belief."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"Where in another universe all together we might be enemies, here I would rather be allies." This man who seemed to be far too merciful to exist in his universe otherwise held several things he himself did - strength of character, strength of conviction, a true intelligence, determination, wisdom. They used these things in different ways, yes, but they were still there.

This would have been a James Kirk he could have had on his ship as a strong, loyal man. All in the little differences that made the character.

"I have no idea how long I will be here. I would prefer to do something other then rot like a prisoner sentenced to death or torture." There was a smirk that almost was a smile. A joke?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I hope it comes to neither," Kirk said. He wasn't in the brig, had the run of the ship, had his bondmates, but in other ways had been stripped of himself, as well. "I would always rather have allies than enemies. I was hoping that, together, we might determine a course of action."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"I'd rather do that than be sitting here, devoid of any chance to have a say of my potential future. There are many possibilities, including that you and I could never leave this universe. The idea of being here," He gestured about his cell, "If that was the truth is worse then death, and indeed would turn me to forcing my way out instead of remaining as I have. It could be days, weeks, years until my Spock finds a way."

For just a moment, his eyes dropped. Only a single moment, then lifted again. The pain of the bond throbbed like a constantly bleeding wound in his mind - he could not last like this for too long without the half of it. Spock, Jim's Spock, had ended up in sickbay in a comatose state after only a short time, the bond so new.

This separation had been like tearing out flesh, an organ, instead of newly placed stitches.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim had no window into this man's mind. But his instincts were intact, and given his own recent experience he was not unaware of some of what the man must be going through. And would continue to. Despite everything, he had sympathy. Even if trust of a man so different in principle was difficult.

"You have been patient," Kirk acknowledged. "I can only say that I, for one, have not and would not advocate this as a permanent solution. And trust that we can indeed find something that works. With compromise on both sides. I would not like to be trapped here forever, either. And I am not nearly so far displaced as you."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"I will continue to be patient for however long it requires." Pike's gaze tilted down to his gloved hands, thinking in silence for a moment. How could he say something that spoke of such weakness to who might be the enemy? Probably because he would rather it be known then himself collapsing and the knowledge of it going unknown.

So he looked to Jim again, "I'll tell you that this current solution will not last much longer before it takes its toll."

The bond's pain was getting force, multiplying since the contact with his own Spock. He knew he already find himself deteriorating as it was, having dreams of things that could not exist but seemed incredibly real. He had not been separated from Spock like this before, even when he had been captured by another enemy in their own universe.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

That was an admission of some cost, Kirk knew. He was silent a moment, watching Pike seriously and not without understanding. Spock had trusted this man, to some extent, even knowing what he did. And while that, too, smelled suspiciously like undue influence, Jim couldn't ignore it. Nor could he ignore the landscape of Spock's mind, when Bones had been separated. Madness was not only certain--it was a miracle Pike was still standing.

He nodded. "I understand that," he said, his voice laced with understated compassion. "Is there anything you know of that will reduce the effect?"

Even free--which Jim could not foresee happening--this would be an issue. Pike was condemned already.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

"I've already done what I can to reduce the effect, or I would've already been mad, unconscious, or dead." Pike also admitted, remaining calm in body and tone, fingers lacing together. "This isn't something I'm familiar with, because even when Spock and I've been separated in the past, the bond still remained and didn't feel like this. Perhaps your Spock would know more."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim watched him again for a long moment. "I'll talk to him about it," he said at last. He'd already decided to, but he thought this man should know. His feelings, after this meeting, were little less confused than before. He had all of Spock's memories, and the other Spock's, too, surrounding this prisoner rattling around in his brain with no real context to latch them on to. Trying to supply it now was a process, not an instant fix. And he was even further resolved to learn as much as he could about the bond. They'd been separated--in exactly this manner--before. Would he have survived this long?

Somehow, Jim doubted it. And that was a liability.

He straightened, feeling he'd learned what he could for now. "I'll do everything I can," he said. "I appreciate your courtesy and your candor." Jim could exhibit both as well, whatever his distrust. "It was interesting meeting you, Captain."

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

The title was an interesting pleasure he had not expected. Pike gave a slight nod of his head, a thank you perhaps, and a departing for sure. "And yourself." To meet a James Kirk that was someone to be respected as much as possibly feared was almost enjoyable.

At least now, maybe, there was a slim chance. The bond throbbed like an open wound, and Pike could only hope that the chance was enough.