Bonds Know No Distance

[mirroredcommand]

The night was dark and deep and long in space, never ending, without a dawn to break the line between waking and sleep, day and night, beginning and end. It made existence endless, broken only by the silent running of the clocks on the wall, the movements of work, food, and sleep. Without these things, without the sureness of a schedule, time became meaningless. Even the stars could not keep him company.

So after Kirk came and 'visited', time resumed its endless patterns, moving on and on without pause or break or concept. For a man used to near-constant action, it was a form of torture more exquisite then any bit of pain or distress. More then anything, it was a torture that gave him nothing to focus his mind on anything but the swelling pain of the broken bond. It was swiftly becoming over whelming, completely and utterly. There was nothing left to keep the pain away, and with his shields designed only to block out Spock's light intrusions instead of a full on force, they were failing after being buffeted for so long. In short, he was going mad.

His expression showed little of the internal war except for the strong brow being furrowed and the age-lines at the edges of the eyes and corners of the mouth looking thicker. It was his hands that gave him away, gripping fiercely into the fabric of the bed he was reclining on. A headache was throbbing behind his eyes in time with his heart, a thick red-hot band of light that was searing like a knife into his mind. Deeper, deeper with every beat of his heart.

Every part of him was focused on maintaining the failing shields, rebuilding them as Spock had taught him those years ago. He had survived torture from Vulcans who knew precisely what to do in the mind, but could not stop this. This bond that had been forced onto him but in the end welcomed, this bond that had saved his life many times in the past, that had saved the life of his first officer and friend, this bond that had been a respite from a world where one could never relax... this bond was killing him. It would destroy him as surely as any blade to the heart.

SPOCK!

Never screamed aloud, never aloud. Instead, strong white teeth bit firmly into his lip, hard enough to send a trickle of crimson along his chin, down to his jawline. The pain, the strain, had been steadily increasing since James Kirk's visit to his cell, as if the reminder of the bond and speaking of it had started a chain reaction. He had long since started to keep his eyes closed [was it hours? minutes? weeks? centuries?] because at least this way the room would not spin. He was starting to feel that same spinning in his mind, making his world wobble like a child's toy.

It seemed hours passed this way. A day? Perhaps. He vaguely heard someone calling him, but did not dare respond. Still trapped in the arms of the enemy, he could not let a weakness be seen. The smell of food made his stomach swell and gurgle, but not from hunger. It felt like his entire body needed one thing it could not have. [a universe away]

He did not feel when he stood, instead he felt the world sway, go sideways. Could not feel the floor beneath his feet, the slap of his hand against the wall in an instinctual attempt to keep himself upright. Did not feel when the world tuned him out, blew him out like a light bulb, did not feel when the pain consumed him and his shields finally fell, did not feel when he hit the ground.

The darkness had claimed him instead.

Comments

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

Communications relayed the message to Spock in the transporter bay where his fingers were flying over the screen.

"Acknowledge it."

The words were harsh and clipped.

Christopher Christopher Christopher.

There was something wrong and Spock would not waste time. He locked the coordinates in and initiated a link between the two computer systems. Lowering the shields was nothing to him.

He stepped onto the transporter pad and waited for the familiar feeling to take him.

I am almost there, Christopher.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Bridge to Captain!"

The urgency in that voice made his heart go cold. "Kirk here."

"We need to drop shields now, they're--"

"Do it! Drop shields, get him over here! Drop him right here in sickbay, transport room should be ready!" He turned away from the comm.

Kirk looked to Jim, and almost on instinct, his fingers clenched tight into a fist. "It's happening."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim didn't know anymore whether he was holding Kirk or using Kirk to anchor him. He just nodded.

"He just wants Pike," he said. "We can't do anything that might make him feel threatened in the accomplishment of that goal." Because then they had something altogether different to deal with. Not his Spock. Not the slightly angrier younger one, or even the coldly ruthless one he'd met in the other universe. This was someone entirely different, unchained by logic except where it served his revenge. Or so Spock had implied.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Fuck I hope that's all he wants." Kirk breathed out, giving Jim's arm a hard squeeze before separating himself. They couldn't afford to appear weak in the eyes of the enemy.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

The transporter took him and when he shimmered back into existence the surroundings would have fascinated him - if he had had eyes for anything other than the man restrained on a bio bed, two Vulcan (himselves-not-himself) leaning in with their hands on his face --

"Usurpers."

It was a hissing whisper before Spock sprang into motion, the bond like a ringing bell in his mind, throughout his body, something like adrenaline coursing through him as he stalked to the bed on the side of the younger, slighter self, and placed his fingers on Christopher's face, overriding the meld points used by the others.

Christopher!

Inside Christopher's mind, the doors that had been barred were flung open. Spock had come for him.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Within his mind, there was a sound that was not a sound, like the inside of a giant bell being struck and its percussion felt without being heard. The doors Pike was leaning against opened, and only the two Spocks holding him up kept him from pitching backwards.

It felt like the release of an orgasm, burning white hot and searing through him, the bond flaring to life so impossibly strong, coursing with the strength of their years together, scarred and made steady by everything that had occurred between them. Pike's mental and physical body arched, and he twisted, trying to reach out for the other half of his bond as energy flooded back into his mind.

Spock!

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Curiosity is what tempts him to say, strong in its force once it is able to take from both of their identities. He wants to see through the doors to the other side, he wants to feel what they feel, but his counterpart is standing in his way and anything he feels is filtered, secondhand, a shadow of the euphoria blossoming at the moment.

With the doors flung open, he feels impossibly young and out of place, unwanted and unneeded. Spock knows he'll learn nothing more by lingering, and if he's honest with himself, the sudden feel of this familiar mind (in all its yearning force) makes him shiver outside and inside.

Spock pulls himself from them. He seperates his identity with little grace since he has none to bestow on the procedure, which leaves him with a painful reminder of his own individuality knocked back into his head. He nearly bumps into his mirror at his side as he sways, and the momentum of jerking his hand back threatens to affect his entire center of gravity.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

It all happened so fucking fast.

Suddenly there was light, the bloom of someone being transported. There was the hiss of a snake and a Vulcan that greatly resembled a mix of the two Spocks on either side of Pher's head stalked forward with all the grace of an angry panther. Then, three were in the meld.

Kirk physically staggered as he felt something slam through the connected bonds and wished more then ever either a) he knew how to shield b) this weird half-bond was more stable c) this weird half-bond didn't exist or d) HE KNEW HOW TO SHIELD! Gah!

Then Spock, his this universe's Spock, staggered, hand parting from Pher's face, and stumbled backwards. "Spock!" He wasn't even consciously aware of jerking forward sharply, moving in the tight space and grabbing Spock as he started to fall, catching the limp weight and pulling him backwards and upright.

"Spock, fuck, Spock...!" He twisted Spock around so he could look at the pale (even paler then normal) face, his own eyes full of worry. What the hell had happened in there? Had Pher's Spock struck out?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim was lost.

He had seen the other Spock arrive, bearded and so like the one he knew. He had seen him growl, and dive for Pike's meld points, and then the twisting inside him had increased, the aching bond flooding the rest of his senses to the point where he merely stood, transfixed and gasping and unsure of what he was doing/seeing/sensing, something burning inside him that was almost sexual in its pleasure/pain and for the moment overrided all other thought.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

The flash of light, the telltale signs of someone being transported sent Nyota jumping a step back, though she soon steadied herself. She kept on her toes, eyes on this new Spock that had appeared (trying her very best not to let the whole creepy situation phase her) and ready to make a move if he tried anything. She wasn't as skilled as some of the men in the room she was sure, but she had passed the same course and knew how to protect herself. She wouldn't be a Starfleet officer if she couldn't.

A choked noise escaped her throat as she saw Spock falter and almost drop, just a few seconds behind James. She gritted back the first remark that came to mind, teeth clenched tightly as she reached out for Spock's hand. Please be alright, please be alright, she repeated like a mantra in her mind, desperately wishing - and not for the first time - that she could do anything to be helpful, useful. Instead she just stayed gripping his hand, trying her best to project all the positive things that he summoned with her; love, warmth, complete trust. Out of some misplaced instinct she would ignore later, she reached out with her free hand and gripped James's arm tight.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Space-time has a sick sense of turning on him when he least wants it to, and now is one of those times. It must be retribution for his persistent studies and manipulations of it. The floor turns into the ceiling and he doesn't even care if his forehead falls six feet and two inches into the floor--

And then a strong body. Jim (http://iron-command.livejournal.com/3569.html?thread=138737#t138737). He doesn't have the energy to fight against being turned, and when he next looks up he sees those brilliant blue (so, so blue, so concerned) eyes looking into his own dark gaze, and.

And.

The connection with Jim, twined red and gold, thrums painfully loud in his mind, surging up from where he had been smothering it during the meld. It reminds him of what could have been distorted in his foolishness, and the implications hitting him all at once weaken him again.

It is not alone. The connection with Nyota, always white-gold and constant but now having also been smothered, shoots into his consciousness with its own burning reminder, a pure and holy note ringing through the fog of his thoughts.

Spock sags against Jim, leaning onto his body with his head dropping onto that strong shoulder with his temple pressing to the fabric, exhausted but grappling to get back his strength. In this position, he can look at Nyota directly, focusing on her as his hand tightens around hers. The grip is stronger than he normally does, would hurt if he continued it for long, but he's unaware of the added strength.

His other hand--it comes up between him and Jim, and rests heavily against the other side of Jim's neck, fingertips clutching weakly into the muscle. Thoughts stream, less words and more just feeling, sorryneedNEEDlove....

He needs them both.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

Spock does not flee.

His counterpart's retreat knocks him back into a single identity, the pain of the suddenly broken blending between them ignored in this face of this Spock, this Christopher being reunited.

Christopher is struggling to rise - Spock will not enter those doors with him but he helps the man to stand.

Do you know what to do?

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk held Spock close, the slightly taller Vulcan's weight needing to be braced tightly. Spock was so warm, like a body burning with fever, and--

Eyes. Dark-black-brown, staring at his, unable to look away from them. It took all of his mind and focused it straight away, blurring out every other thing around him. They were so dark, showing every bit of emotion that Spock normally hid, blazing brilliant-bright and in such pain, confusion...

A grip on his arm. A grip on his neck. A flood of emotions, fast-quick as a river. A confusion and trying to understand. A something unknown to Kirk, a something attempted to be ignored by Spock, curled between them all over again.

Need? Love. besafeworriedworriedprotect

Something made him look up, keeping that body against his. He looked up and met Uhura's - no, Nyota's - eyes. His lips parted, trying to say something, but no words came to mind.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Her hand squeezed back in return, the pain his strength may have caused dulling in the light of her realization. Nyota met Spock's eyes, her head tilted to the side as she tried to organize all the emotions and thoughts that he was flooding them with. It was overwhelming, merely more proof that she had never needed to believe that he felt so deeply.

Slowly, almost imperceptible, she gave a gentle nod and an even softer smile, not entirely sure if he even needed her agreement. He could feel the return of her emotions, a calmer exchange than his, and she focused her energy on making that connection as strong as possible so he knew without a doubt--

Sensing another pair of eyes on her, she turned her gaze to James, her expression just as soft. Her hand drifted up from his arm, trembling fingers grazing over his cheek. "It's okay." she whispered, to everyone or maybe only to herself she wasn't sure.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Her eyes were just as dark, just as beautiful. He never would have dreamed to see that expression looking at him, those graceful fingers against his cheek. It made Kirk swallow, tasting sour-hot on his tongue, and he felt his throat close on more words. It was obvious how much she cared for Spock, blazing as bright as a sun. It made his breath come in a shudder, caught between the two even as much as Spock was between them.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Pike looked to the Spock that was holding him [weakness, signs of weakness], then back to the blackness on the other side of the doors. Spock had always come into his mind, through those doors, and he could not remember going through them himself. His t'hy'la was on the other side of those open doors.

Go. Part statement, part question, part command. Yet he turned his head enough to look back at Spock again, an almost thankful expression. This had been the one, much to his own surprise, to comfort him, help him. It was a near-unknown in his own universe, but here it could not make sense to aid the enemy either. Something to think on, later.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He calmed at the reciprocation of touch and thoughts, from both Nyota and Jim. Hearing her voice outside of his mind also soothed him as well, made him close his eyes as he brought his mind and body under control. His heart beat slowed, the outpouring of thoughts dwindled from a torrent to tiny, quiet trickle but was always there, whispering, not letting him forget what he had put on the line.

Spock took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. A single pause, three heart beats in succession, before he lifted his head from Jim's shoulder and pulled back, taking his own weight again. He didn't withdraw from Jim's arms or from Nyota's grip. He caught those blue eyes again. It was okay, Jim.

thankyouthankyou... His fingers interlaced with Nyota's.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

Spock nodded, watched as Pike straightened on his own, and then withdrew.

The transition back into himself was easier because he was no rushing it. Still, something like exhaustion and something else like (desireneedtouchkissclaim) wanting to touch Jim buzzed through him, mind and body.

His counterpart was being cared for - they could speak another time.

Spock kept his hands to himself but raised his heated gaze to make eye contact with his Jim.

"Captain, I request assisstance back to my quarters."

That Spock would be no trouble, too caught up in repairing the hurts to his Christopher's mind.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Something in the release of Spock from Pike's mind roused Jim, enough to worry about the moment during which he had been helpless. Would he have responded with instinct and training, if necessary?

Something to worry about later.

Spock's presence--singular and needy and needed--roared back into him, and even so he was able to straighten, to pull his expression together into something like calm despite the burning coals Spock's eyes now resembled. He didn't know how much Spock was letting him feel, consciously or not, but it was enough to know that whatever it was it was worse for Spock that Jim. And Jim himself felt wrung out.

Strong enough for Spock, though. Always.

He nodded, glancing at the others assembled and deciding to trust that the other Spock and Pike would be occupied. Still, he looked over at McCoy. "Make sure someone keeps their eye on those two," he said. "And I would ask that Jim contact us should anything arise." His tone did not command, but it was the voice of a captain, born and trained.

Jim moved to Spock and, arranging himself at his side, moved his outer arm to offer his first two fingers in addition to the physical suport.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Once more her eyes danced back and forth between Captain and Commander, her palm sliding to lay flat against his cheek, thumb stroking across his jaw as her other did the same to the back of Spock's hand. Always offering whatever comfort they needed, whatever she had to give. Now there was just two of them to share it between.

Nyota offered them both a brighter smile, her eyes finally settling on a point between them all as she tried to reorder her thoughts now Spock was growing a littler calmer. It's what you need, what we need, she thought, glancing up at Spock now, her hand never leaving James.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

Spock pulled into himself, Vulcan dignity reasserting itself given their audience and the public nature of the corriders they must traverse.

But he reaches out to brush Jim's fingers with his own, the brief touch enough to communicate...

Spock does not trust his own restraint at the moment. He trusted Jim not to be offended, to know it is not Jim that Spock is resisting but the thrumming in his blood.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

Spock is waiting. The newly reforged rope of their bond twists around him in this secret place and he waits because Christopher needs to come here, to Spock, where it will be easier to make it all right between them.

He can feel the other two withdraw - another reason he waits. The usurpers had kept his Christopher from succumbing to madness but to meet them here where only Spock was allowed...

He did not wish to turn Christopher's mind, his inner sanctum, into a battleground.

Christopher.

He called to his mate, the full sense of his yearning in the single word.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

If it had not before, the thrumming came through in the electric touch of Spock's fingers, and Jim was put firmly in mind of the that jolt he had only felt by proxy, which he realized now much have been Pike reuniting with his Spock. A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he glanced quickly at Spock, reassuring and understanding.

He didn't need a display, with or without the bond.

Jim excused them, not knowing if Jim and the other Spock and Uhura even knew they were there, and certain Pike and Spock were lost to them for now. And he led Spock from sickbay without touching him, lending his presence and the support of their own bond, as open to his mate as he knew how to be.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

Nearly a month completely divorced from his bond mate, according to any sort of accurate measurements in a place without time. The energy coming from the bond throbbing between them gave him the energy to walk straight instead of turning into a stumbling fool, but there was a speed to his walk as he went through the doors, into the darkness without flinching, and only his bond mate's voice to guide him.

Where he was going, he did not know, but followed the path straight to Spock.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

Christopher knew more of his own mind than any other human Spock had known or even heard of. But this place where Christopher kept his idea of Spock was rarely visited, if Spock could be any judge. It was where he entered Christopher's mind and it had seemed the logical place from which to begin - the bond pulsed around him reforming, knitting them even more tightly together after their long separation.

Spock's own mind was singing with it, drunk with it, wild with exhualtation.

There, movement there in the dark, and Spock was moving, the force of his considerable will catching Christopher into his arms, the shock of such close mental contact nearly taking his balance.

Christopher, Christopher, I am here, I am here. Be well, Christopher.

Spock could not have told himself whether it was command or plea.